One-night stands have become much more common and the old stigma around them is thinning by the minute. However, this does not mean that it has necessarily become easier to get one. Here are a few tips on what you can do to maximize your night out.
There is a time and place for anything, and your local bookshop or grocery store is not going to be it if you are just looking for a one-night stand. Instead, your classic bar or club is the best place to meet women who might also be looking for a casual hook-up. The atmosphere of the place you go to will set the mood and already get you half of the job done. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t pick the loudest clubs or busiest bars. Too much noise, people and general confusion actually tend to isolate people more than encourage them to chat up to strangers, no matter how friendly they might seem.
Similarly, think about the place you want to bring her to for sex. The bar’s grotty sofa or your car’s stiff backseat might not be the most encouraging prospect to propose to someone. Since you are most likely to meet them someplace outside, make sure that it’s not too far away from where you live. The shorter the distance, the smaller the effort and the lower the chance of them changing their minds or even falling asleep halfway to your door.
If bringing them back to your place is not an option, or you are just too lazy to clean up your apartment, maybe have a look if there are any hotels nearby where you could spend the night. It is usually not advised to ask them to go to their home unless they offer it.
2 Come Prepared
The way you present yourself is crucial, this also includes the way you decide to surround yourself. This is not the occasion to bring your entire block of friends, keep your boys’ night out for its own day. Large groups will not only distract you from your goal but will also appear rather intimidating. It also doesn’t scream “I’m single looking for a company”, especially if some of your friends are also looking, you already have to compete with the women’s will, there is no point in competing with your friends.
However, that does not mean that you should just show up to the club entirely on your own. This can come across as a bit creepy and anti-social, which are the two things you want to avoid. Having one or two friends to keep you company at the bar gives you three times more search power.
3 Keep your eye out
This is probably the trickiest to identify but comes with practice. Obviously, if they are already hung up around someone else’s arm or laughing with her group of friends, you should switch target.
More subtly, if you manage to catch their gaze looking around the room it’s unlikely that she’s just admiring the wallpaper. Remember that chatting up someone who already seems interested is always easier.
4 Know your Aim
You are looking for a casual hookup, not a romantic long-term relationship to celebrate all the many interests you share. This can be harder than it sounds but tries to drop your habitual expectations and readjust your standards to suit your purpose. When you are having sex, it won’t matter if they don’t share your love for French cuisine or has hair dyed a color you hate.
Getting in Touch
You’ve picked the perfect location, have your trusty wingman by your side and have just caught a woman’s glance from across the bar – now is the time to make your move.
- Be Patient
… Or maybe not so fast. Don’t jump on someone as soon as they brush past you. Any sign of despair or haste will most probably push them away. The reward comes to those who know how to wait for the right person or moment. First impressions are everything, even if it’s just for one night, so take your time.
- Be determined but also know when to move on
As much as someone might be willing to have a casual hook-up, there is still a certain stigma about night one stands, some people just need a bit more encouragement than others. Know when to insist and when to let it go. You don’t want to come across as desperate and you also don’t want to be wasting your time if the person is clearly not going to leave the place anywhere near you. 15 minutes is all you really need to get a judge of the situation.
- Be Direct and Respectful
This is probably the most important point to remember. Make your intentions clear from the start. If sex is what you are after, don’t greet you her like you would your sister. Don’t lead her on into thinking that she might have just secured a handful of fancy date nights. Test the waters with a compliment or a light touch of the shoulder, gauge her response – you will know if she’s not interested in it going any further.
Ultimately, it should all be about respect. Let her know that this is going to be a one-time thing, mature adults should be able to have casual sex with decency. If she knows what to expect, she will trust you more and make the experience greater for both.
- Give Hints
Once you know that she might be interested, the expectations are gradually building up and you should try not to disappoint. Drop a few hints in the conversation, close up space between the two of you and soon enough you will both be off somewhere else.
- Know your timing
Don’t wait for the birds to start singing, once you have managed to set the mood, try to keep it up for the night. This means knowing when to leave the bar or club you’re in before they start cleaning the floor.
- Get her Number
Even if it was just a “one-time thing”, there’s no rule which says that there can’t be multiple ones. Do this preferably when you are still talking to avoid giving any mixed signals.
- Be Yourself
At the end of the day, or the night, being yourself instead of trying too hard to impress her will be your best bet. Be presentable, respectful and honest, and all you’ll be missing for the ideal hook-up is an exit plan for the next morning.